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-James

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Posted by james on April 14, 2001

<blink>Not Yet</blink>


Something will be here soon, I've got it floating around in my head... but I can't seem to get it out before I get too tired. It'll show soon.

(no title)

Posted by james on March 27, 2001

People can't stand asking questions. There's so many times I feel misunderstood, or just not understood at all, and I'm amazed how few questions I get. I would love for people to bluntly ask "What did you mean by that?", "What are you thinking?", or even say "I think that was an incredibly horrible thing to say." I guess there's something we grow up with that tells us that asking questions is bad manners.

Maybe it's our fear of being exposed. A question can expose as much about what we're thinking as simply speaking our mind. But not voicing your thoughts outright doesn't have to affect things too much, while by leaving out all your questions you choose to put yourself in the dark.

I'd rather embarrass myself in my questions and look like a fool than to never know what a person was thinking and live on suspicions and false assumptions. But then again, I choose to embarrass myself every day by simply stating my thoughts. That, and the questions I choose to ask are mostly simple things. That's what I'm interested most times, the simple things.

(no title)

Posted by james on Feb. 23, 2001

I used to wish I could fly. I told a friend this recently, he said he wished he could too. He wished he could so much, once he tried to. He ran up, jumped off a small ledge, and tried his hardest to fly up over the ground. He got the worst carpet burns of his life.

Now I wish for other things. They seem so much more realistic, but they're still completely out of my reach. I wish I could play music. Not just play, but play well. Play to the point where I'm amazed at my own music and talent like I am of others'.

I also wish I had the option of not sleeping. I can't stand sleeping, it's the worst part of the day. Or at least, going to sleep is. Waking up after a nice long sleep is great, makes you feel good... but having to go to sleep, that's the worst. Maybe it's like someone told me, I hate transitions. Most times I just like what I'm doing and I don't want to stop and do something else. Just think, if you didn't have to end any moment in your life, aren't there some you'd never leave? I guess that's why God planted us so firmly in time, to sweep us along and make sure we don't stop too long anywhere smelling the roses, and miss out on the garden ahead.

I still wish I didn't have to sleep.


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