Transparent

Posted by james on Feb. 12, 2002

A little bird told me.

Whenever I'm confronted with why I know something that I shouldn't, I use that line. How did you know? A little bird told me. I only have a line like that because I know things. I guess living on the sidelines lets you see more of the action. You've been there too... two of your friends are involved, but since they're trying to deal with each other they can't be completely transparent with each other. So you, the third party, learn the hidden cards that are intimately intwined in their conflict but can never be put on the table.

You ever feel like the things around you are transparent? It's a dangerous feeling; thinking that you know enough to see through people's actions right into their heart, where the motives lay. It's a power trip, plain and simple. You convince yourself that you're just that good, that you know people and have that ability, that skill to see right through their actions. In reality, you're simply perceptive and just know all the cards. There's nothing special, you're eyes can't see through lead and your ears can't peirce through pleasantries. But you know things, so when you see and when you listen the words become thinner, and the motives more clear.

I may not have an ability or skill to see through people. I'm actually pretty bad at putting the pieces together. Every movie I watch surprises me at the end, because I simply don't think past the piece in front of me; I don't jump to the conclusions that everyone around me does. But I do listen, and somehow my brain manages to hold onto those small pieces I hear (while the majority of everything else seems not to take hold at all). So I listen to the little bird, and I see through people's words. It's a dangerous place to be, and strangely a bit lonely.